Showing posts from July, 2021

The Inner Murmur

The inner murmur Like the humming of a large machine, we know the sound that it makes.  Not loud, just inexorable.  Not threatening, simply insatiable.  Yours is different than mine, but we both know what it is saying… “I need more from you”, “prove it again”.  And so, we do.  Again.  It has a companion.  Weariness.  Weary from trying and not getting fulfillment.  We may have improved. We may have given our newest “best”, and still, it cries out for more.  The list is filled with many forms of the thing not satisfied, notability, money, power, friends, better friends, work, play, approval from someone of note to us… and still… the level of achievement is not fulfilled from outside.  This is a work from within.  I cannot give it to you, nor can you give it to me. There is a place in the Alcoholics Anonymous program that we can apply here, knowing that whatever it is that I do, it will not be enough, and paradoxically then it is.  I cannot do more, and I am ok with what I have done.  Kno