Rabbit Trails and Spiderwebs

House of Cards There is a part in the book “A grief observed”, by C.S. Lewis, where he talks about the way mankind creates a structural representation of God that is a house of cards.  God, not being pleased by the misrepresentation of this house, blows a bit of breath on it and it collapses easily.  We respond in horror that our representation is collapsed and are confronted with the knowledge that we have made some error, but then we start again.  The interesting part comes when we realize that we do this with many aspects of our lives.  That we build a structure of expectations for friends, relatives and business actions that conform to that internal sense of things being “right”.  This is then divided into two parts.  The first is the sense of violation when the expectation is not met or worse when it is trampled on purpose and we have been made the one that the joke was played upon.  The second part is when we realize we made the assumptions ourse...

Slothfulness – indifference  (Acedia) Seldom heard of, this is actually one of the 7 Deadly Sins.  Acedia is the term first brought about by a monk in 1670, it is often heard by the name of Sloth.  Current use of the term sloth would be understood as the animal that bears its name, or that is the slovenly and unmotivated person.  In the list of the 7 Deadly Sins they all seem to count as behaviors.  Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, Envy, and Gluttony.  Lust and pride, of course are internal and their fulfillment is found in the actions they produce, but that can also be said of them all.  But to read them you simply pass over the word sloth and perhaps think “indolent” or unfocused on their task.  You would be mistaken. Acedia is a different form of malaise and is at times described as “depression”.  While there is a parallel track of common behaviors and symptoms their actual being and their root causes are different.  Acedia can be fo...

 Onions and Friends... The conversation was ranging and enjoyable.  We had been talking for more than an hour, as typical for me, when there was a change in the eye and the tone of the voice.  We had just shifted.  It is not new that this takes place, but it is not always observed by both parties.  The topic is irrelevant, but the process is always the same.  Surprises come as you get closer to the issues that have merit.  We talked and the questions come, and they are joined with the answers.  Ring by ring we proceed. Here is an interesting note.  The rings have a meat layer which is thick, but also a thin membrane which proceeds it.  In a conversation it is the “permission” layer.  That point of vulnerability that must be obtained before going to the actual issue behind it.  Some will not pay attention and will simply blunder past the signals of resistance and the result is a damaged relationship.  There are indeed times...

Cohesion  The mess was mine.  The mess was close.  The mess came in an instant.  In an unexpected way the water broke all around me, I could not make it stop.  It ran until it was done of its own accord.  Like the sobs of a wounded soul, there was no stopping until the exhaustion was pervasive.  The work of keeping it all together and contained was captured in the spring, and had been released.  The work had been hidden from the unsuspecting, the uninterested and, myself as well.  I had not taken the account of the labor needed to hold it all in place.  To keep the plates spinning and balls juggling and the tension “just so”.   Seemingly innocent was the question.  Seemingly simple was the reply.  It was the gaze that was different.  It was the intensity that made the difference.  The eyes that did not simply accept the pat answers and glib explanations.  It was the power of those eyes that d...

The gift Actually, it came as a surprise.   The gift was simple enough, a gold chain with a heart, but it was that it was a gift and not expected that carried the weight of it.   Simple, in that it was not gaudy and flashy.   Simple, in that it carried no expectations.   Simple as well, in that the gift and the giver were gracious in the giving and the receiver was matching in the receiving of it.   It wasn’t the first gift and it won’t be the last.   It will always be gracious.   That is how the system works.   Surprise, gracious and without strings that complicate. It wasn’t always that way.   The maxim is that “You cannot give what you do not have”.   That was, and is, always the case.   What you don’t know is the process for any individual story that carried the teller of that tale from before to after.   It is the same for your story as well.   No one knows unless you tell, unless you have a compan...